Day Thirteen-Working in the Seventh Century

Day 13- (111 Miles)- Saturday, June 30, 2007 Burley, ID to Blackfoot, ID (4,497')

Day thirteen was a long pull-110 miles- that turned out to be no big deal at all. The route was relatively flat with about 2,000 feet of vertical that took us up to about 4,500' with assorted ups and downs along the way. We got an early start- breakfast was at 5:30 and load at 6:00, so by 6:01 the riders were peeling out onto the road. I rode with a large and now familiar group to start- the Miller Train, The Three D's, The Paine Train (Joel and Allison) Gary from Wisconsin and a few others.

Since the ride was flat and the wind at our backs, the mood was relaxed and chatty. Gary and I had fun talking about Wisconsin Fly fishing (he's from Madison). He had me gut laughing with his story about meeting his roommate. It seems that this guy is rather, shall we say subdued, and sells tractor parts for a living. Gary was struggling to draw out some conversation and after trying Wisconsin sports teams and numerous other subjects- all of which got monosyllabic responses, Gary asked about this fellow's hobbies. The fellow said no hobbies and then, half an hour later, came back and said yes, he did have one- it seems that he enjoyed picking up lost tools along the road side. Gary asked if he displayed them. No, I just keep them in a box in the garage, was the answer. Dee-lite-full.

I felt good on today's ride. Having been on the bike for 12 of the last 13 days and having ridden nearly a thousand miles since we started, on top of the 9,700 miles ridden since last June, I'm feeling pretty strong. Not really fast (gravity sees to that), but I feel like I can go all day. In fact today's ride is my 7th century (or very close to century) in the last two months. So, ride all day is what we did, arriving at our hotel at about 3:330PM. However, that included three sags, a prolonged ice cream break, one sightseeing detour, and a great lunch break. Someone said our average speed was around 16- not bad for this old man.

The route today took us through more irrigated crops, mostly potatoes and alphalfa, and ocassionally skirted the Snake River. The Snake River plays a major role in this part of Idaho as nothing, not even front yards, could exist without the blessings of the river. The fields contain a maze of irrigation ditches, some major in size- I'd guess 30-50 feet across, sometimes crossing roads, and others just enough to wet a single field. At times you ride along and see, hear and feel the massive quantities of water being run through the towering irrigation rigs and you wonder about the battles, physical and legal, that have been waged over water rights out here. I suspect that in years to come, as water comes to be in shorter supply, folks will want to revisit how and by whom the Snake and it's siblings are used.

As we pulled out of Burley, a real one horse town, we were soon on a "chip and seal" farm to market road, which is rough beyond description. By the first sag, one of the bolts holding my water bottle cages had disappeared and the other three were well on their way to wiggling themselves free. (Now you and I both know that these kinds of bolts, really they're just screws, would never stand a chance out here. Not like some big bolt off a big, dull green John Deere tractor- these are city bolts. Whatever were they thinking??) At mile 47, we finally got off the torture rack and jumped onto I-86 and the smoothest pavement we've ridden. Our pace line tightened it's formation and we sailed about 8 miles in very short order, then returned to our two lane route, the wind still pushing us along on a mid 70 degree, cloudless, zero humidity day. And you did what?

About the time we'd start to tell ourselves how great life was, we'd be reminded that in two days the party is scheduled to be over. We'll have to strap on our big-boy boots and report for work. Yes my children, the Rocky Mountains can see us. They are licking their lips and want us to know that they have a few fun days in store for us.

At mile 72 we barreled down the main drag of Aberdeen, ID and one by one, the peleton began to call out for ice cream. As luck would have it, we stumbled into one of those old fashioned main street drug stores, like the one that used to be in Victor, NY (you've all been there right?), that sold ice cream- most of us choosing the "Moose Tracks" in waffle cones. After about a thirty minute break, including a session explaining our trip to the owner, we again sped on down the road in a well organized pace line. With Mariah (you'll recall that way out here they call the wind Mariah) flowing across our backsides, our posse began the hunt for lunch. (Ice cream, then lunch-it's legal when cycling). We finally solved the puzzle at mile 105 and stopped at a nifty little burger shack, where the locals gave us the kind of stares that are usually reserved for kids at the mall with multiple body piercings. But I must admit that 8 adults in garishly colored spandex, clicking and clacking in cycling shoes is a bit out of the ordinary in Idaho farm country.

Following lunch, Derek and I felt our Mojo's rumbling and we broke from the group and laid rubber down the road like two pro fuel dragsters (poetic license taken here). My thought was that we'd scald the dog the remaining 5 miles into town. But along the way we spotted Darrell, a fellow rider, up ahead. Darrell is a neat guy, retired surgeon I believe, who always seems to be alone and struggling a bit. So we decided to see if Darrell wanted us to "pull" him in the remaining 3-4 miles. He thought that was a great idea and for the first time ever, he drafted a ride. He kept saying how great it was and thanked us repeatedly.

After a dandy catered dinner (lasagna, Barbeque chicken cooked in a dutch oven) I retired to the lobby. I found Marianne and Michael there and I shared some of my music collection with them, introducing them to Mark Knopfler and David Gilmour. I crashed early and planned to sleep in as tomorrow's ride is a short one. Nighty night.

Day Twelve- Cyclist Gyped at Twin Falls

Day 12 (47 Miles) Friday, June 29, 2007- Twin Falls, ID to Burley, ID (4,165')

Today was a nice break from our routine- we got to sleep in and didn't load until 8:30AM, a good 2-3 hours later than normal. I really appreciated the extra sleep and the dandy sleeping accomodations we had at the Ameritel Inn in Twin Falls. Following a nice dinner at a Mexican Restaurant with the Millers and Joel and Allison, I crashed fairly early and slept soundly. We ate, loaded and got our scavenger hunt directions (not so interesting to this reporter) and were east bound by 8:30 AM. Though this is one of the shortest days (38 miles), we added about 9 miles by taking in detours to see Shoshone Falls (worth it) and Twin Falls (not worth it- plus it came with a tough 14% climb that kind of zapped me for the rest of the ride).

The ride today brings my monthly ride total to 1340, which is a record for me (May was my previous best at 1298. with two days yet to ride in June, I expect my total to be nearly 1500. But back to the ride.

The weather this morning was clear and downright warm by 8:30 AM, with the day promising to settle in around the mid 90's. In spite of that, my group decided to visit both sets of falls and as I said earlier, Shoshone was cool, Twin not so cool (I felt we got hosed on this one since there was only one falls-or is that Fall?-, not two-or "Twin" as I have come to understand the meaning of the word). The climb out of Shoshone was not bad- maybe 7-9%. But coming out of Twin Falls touched 14-15% and it set me back a tad. The rest of the ride into Burley, ID was very unremarkable- mostly flat and agricultural with little to see or comment on. I did get a good shot of Will, Kelly and their daughter aboard their triple at a scenic pullout along the Snake River Canyon. They've been real troopers given that an 8 year old is one of the crew members. Maybe heroic is a better word. Don't see how it's possible to keep a youngun' bolted down for that long.

One of the more interesting encounters of our trip came as we approached the McDonalds in Burley for lunch. As we tried to enter, an elderly couple was coming out and so we paused to let them come out and they began asking what we were doing. As we engaged them about our exploits, the man began telling us that he'd retired from The Ringling Circus as a "Master Clown". His name was Frosty Little and he gave me a card that was a copy of a JAMA (Journal of American Medical Association) cover from July, 1981 that featured a copy of a painting that had been done of him and had ended up in a museum in France. Whew, that was a mouthful. Anyway, he was a neat old guy and we enjoyed making his acquaintance here in Burley, ID.
Whoda thunk it?

Tonight we prepare for a long and hot day as we stretch out for 110 miles and about 2,000 feet of climbing. The day is clearly not a big climbing day, but we're inching towards the Rockies and it's ahead of us, no denying it. Bern Miller and I were remarking today about the freakishly kind weather we've had- reasonably mild for the circumstances. No bitchin' from me. May have some more later, but I'll sign out for now.

Special Report- Pic Proven a Phony

Special Edition, The Twin Falls World News and Crop Report

Dateline: Twin Falls, Idaho


(Twin Falls) On the day following Paris Hilton's release from Prison, the world of long distance bicycle touring was rocked when first time crosser (not cross dresser -big difference, people) Bob Frame tearfully admitted that the picture he posted on his blog which Frame claimed to be a shot of his burst saddle sore was, in fact, the back side (no correlation, people) of a stop sign. As two readers separately pointed out (Joe Burch- a sometimes riding partner of Bob's in N. GA and Ralph Antolino- a fellow long distance bicycle tourist) the photo appeared to be a traffic sign which had been used to sight in a deer rifle.

The saddle sore fraud was apparently initiated when Frame and his companion Russel (a member of the Three D's) were waiting for-freaking-ever for Jen and Brett to fix a flat, and the pair became bored and spotted the vandalized traffic sign. The scheme was hatched on the spot. (Russell has been unavailable for comment, but you can bet that Frame will share some of the heat with that little weasel.)

Frame, however, did question whether anyone had any issue with him having claimed to have had alien encounters on two separate occasions. In fact, as the intrepid traveler pointed out, "Since Mr. Burch, offered useful advice on dealing with aliens, maybe I could still run with that one?" People, funny and terrible things begin to happen when you sit on a bike saddle too long people, and this reporter thinks we're beginning to see that now.

TV commentator Phil Liggett was quoted as saying "It's now time for cycling to admit it has a problem- first with doping, now with bogus pictures. I call upon Mr. Frame to put an end to this silliness now." Mr. Frame's response was "Get a life, Liggett."

Earlier this week unconfirmed reports of certain un-named long distance touring cyclists began to surface which alleged that digital pictures have been pirated from other cyclist's blogs and put on certain other rider's blogs. Frame was heard to say "You can't proven a thing."

Day Eleven- Back to Reality (This is Reality Isn't It?)

Day 11- (97 Miles) Thursday, June 28, 2007 Mt. Home, ID to Twin Falls, IS (3,745')

Well, after an easy day before our day off, then a day off, then an easy 50 mile day, we were reintroduced to the "wacky world of wong distance bicycle touring" with a flat, no wind (there, now that the ride's over, I can say it) almost century ride- 97 miles for those who are counting.
The ride took us through Idaho farm country with some very scenic views (more on this). My recollection is of endless, irrigated (or nothing, but nothing, will grow) potato fields and then a brief, but violent olfactory assault by what must be the largest dairy operations on the planet. These dairies were udderly huge (rim shot, please), running on for miles and the methane gas they put off, was off putting- to say the least. As my Aunt Marge would say, "It woulda knocked a dog off a gut cart". But I digress.

One of the more entertaining chapters of today's ride included our stop at the West Point Restaurant at mile 70. The place was a disaster physically, but the owners were delightful and gave us all the ice we could carry and then began talking about the giant burgers that they serve. The biggest was a mess they called "The Sasquatch". I don't remember what was in it, but here's a picture of someone eating one. The owner claimed that some guy ate 10 of them over a weeks period- talk about putting out some methane gas. Phew... I convinced the owner to create a new mess that I named the "Hogzilla". She got a pencil and paper and took notes as I suggested that the Hogzilla Burger would have bacon, sliced ham, a piece of pork tenderloin and then, she interjected, "a chopped sirloin burger". "Oh yes", she squealed, "it's just perfect and I'll put it on the menu at once. You'll see when you come back next year". Maybe, lady, but don't bet the franchise on it.

We had some really spectacular views of the Snake River canyon in several spots and even rode next to the place where Evil Knevil had his failed attempt at jet engine launching over the river. The ramp that was a part of his jump is still there, but too far for a Maria Sharapova Special to make any sense of it.

The ride today was at times beautiful, as were we treated to the valleys that cradled the Snake River- the giver of life around here. Without the river and the irrigation that it supports, this would be a lifeless stretch of sage brush or whatever the light green clumps are that grow in the non-irrigated areas. The issue of water rights has to be all important here, as the contrast between the irrigated and non-irrigated areas is stark.

We made a brief stop in the town of Bliss, Idaho and noticed that a peaceful, easy feeling overtook us. Blissful, you might say.
By the way, I haven't mentioned it, but I have had a bit of a problem with saddle sores. However, today, my sore burst (sounded like a gun went off). I captured a picture of it below for those who can't get enough gore watching the local evening news.

Tomorrow's ride is a box of Junior Mints- all of 38 miles. We expect we'll start late and finish early- it's the shortest ride of the trip and one of the flattest with under 400' of climbing. However, there's another century on the next day, so we'll get what's coming to us soon enough.

Thanks to Courtney, Mike, Brian, Joe E, Joe B, Tommy and Eric for sending comments- I do so enjoy hearing from you all.

Day Ten- Is That All There Is?

Day 10 (50 Miles)- Wednesday, June 27, 2007- Boise, ID to Mt. Home, ID

The group consensus was that our day off came at the right time and in the right place. Boise turned out to be a delightful rest point, with all the things available that one might need. Not what you wanted maybe, but what you needed-to be sure. And a world class bike store to boot- "George's" it's called and it beats anything I've seen before (no offense Joe). New, covered up with inventory and a pro level fit center with computer aided this and that. In fact, the Three D's (Jen, Brett and Russell) got dipped in the fit process and reported today that they feel the time (it took them all freaking afternoon to get it done so of course they couldn't eat with us because they were too damn busy getting fitted) and the money (I didn't ask, but I'm sure they spent well over a million dollars on it). Unfortunately, they wouldn't ride with any of us today- I suspect they're covering something up- we'll find out what the real deal is soon enough- I've got some of our best people working on infiltrating that little operation.

The Miller Train pulled out of the station bright and early. The route today was short and, I hope, the most boring we'll see on the tour. It was bike path for a ways, but interstate most of the way- primarily flat, loaded with debris (gravel, rubber and bungy cords) and we were surrounded by scrubby, high desert. The view leaving Boise was worth a shot, but maybe not, as it exposed a smog layer worthy of Southern California at its best. After that the only thing of interest was another alien sighting,

and a view of our double pace line on I-84. We encountered a couple of Angry Horn Blowers (known in latin as "Headupus Posteriorus"), but mostly folks gave us a break and left us alone. Arriving in Mountain Home (Pop. 3,000??) by about 11:00 AM, we decided to have an early lunch and found a place called The Ole Steakhouse. It was great- the best waitress we've had all trip, delightful onion rings and a Men's room with " Important Original Works of Art" on the walls. In spite of the tight security, I managed to get a couple shots of the work. The exhibit had a nautical theme and featured works entitled "Red Rubber Fish Stuck to the Wall",




"Orange-ish Jellyfish Looking Thing" and




"A Million Little Yellow Fish With Too Big Eye Balls". Following lunch, we rode to the exhibit of the "Actual Living Dinosaur at The Gas Station" that Derek, Michael and Bern got too close to as this picture clearly shows. They could have been injured and had no one to blame but me- and I'm getting sick of taking the heat for everything.

The weather has turned hot, clear and sunny (isn't that redundant?), with temps pushing the century mark. Glad we got in early, though over the next few days, I don't think that strategy is going to work- long days will mean we're going to be in the heat- just get used to that idea. I bought a Camelback yesterday which is a 2 liter(??) back pack with a drinking nozzle and also bought two insulated water bottles. Its what all the cool kids have, so it must be the right answer. All kidding aside, I think both were wise buys and will be important in the coming days as staying cool and hydrated become much more important than what we've experienced so far. Tomorrow is one of our three centuries on this leg (actually 97 miles, but who's counting), so it will be a long day- not much climbing- only 1954 feet, so it shouldn't be a wicked time, unless the heat or headwinds attack. If so, we'll just have to put on our daddy's shoes and get to work.

BTW, thanks to Ron, Keith (again), Danny (again) and my new Toccoa friend, Jon Neely for their encouraging/smart ass words- keeping 'em coming- it's fun hearing from people.

Day Nine- A Day Off in Boise

Day9-(Zero Miles) Tuesday, June 26, 2007- Boise, ID


Today is a rest day and my plans are to get a two hour massage this morning. Everything else is subject to my being able to walk upright after that. I expect that I'll be returned to my hotel in a large zip lock bag, so I'll spend my afternoon doing whatever large, liquid masses do- Flowing down hill? Forming a puddle on the sidewalk? Getting absorbed by a roll of Bounty- the quicker-picker-upper? Whatever.

The picture above was taken a couple of days ago. As the more astute readers have already figured out, it's a group shot of our riders. I'm in the back row towards the left side. Pretty impressive collection, eh?

Last night I crashed at 7:00 PM and slept like a hibernating bruin. I skipped the group dinner, ordered room service, watched the tube for a few minutes and then slipped into that bone tired, inky black, dream free sleep. Today I feel refreshed and only slightly worn. Free from saddle sores, I do have some deep tissue soreness in my legs that I expect my masseuse will tend to this morning. I may do a short spin this afternoon, based on advice from Danny Short and Mike Miller. On the other hand, who died and left you guys boss?

It's now about 3:00PM. I had my massage (good, not great), lunch (good, not great) and am now going to finish this blog and vegetate (great, not good). The day has turned off warm (boy that sounds southern, don't it paw?) and I'm hearing that temps are headed north from here (that would mean higher). Good time to be hydrating (my new favorite word). In fact, I asked the waitress at Perkins today if she'd mind hydrating me. She called her supervisor over, but with some fast talking, I was able to stay and finish my lunch. It was a close one.

I would like to announce that most of my previous posts have had implants added. (NO, not "UU" implants, another kind of implants) Those of you who read and then re-read my blog have already picked up it, fo' shizzle. You slam-bam-thank-you-mam types may want to go back. See, as I read some other folks blogs, I saw some dandy pics that I thought would look great on my blog too- so I ripped 'em off. Call the cops- but I did it and I'm proud of it. The beauty of this big ole digital age we live in now. Betcha can't tell which ones I took and which ones I stole, can you? So take that precious little mouse of yours and revisit my blog, new and improved, original and ripped off, mine and theirs, all co-mingled in a flagrant case of "man-sees, then man-takes".

Tomorrow we're back to work, but the ride is our shortest yet-only 50 miles. Here's a preview of what's in store for us: 9 days of riding (5 days in Idaho, 4 days in Wyoming), 704 miles (featuring 2 century++ and one near century) and nearly 21,000 feet of climbing (including our biggest day in Jackson-5,989'- where I believe we'll do the Grand Teton crossing). So, compared with our first segment: one more day, 100 more miles, but 5,000 fewer feet of climbing. The wild card is the weather, but the smart money says it gets hotter and more chance of headwinds. Stay tuned- I'll have it for you as quick as I can find an internet connection. Peace out.

Day Eight-The Day Off Before The Day Off

Day 8 (62 Miles)- June 25, 2007- Ontario, OR to Boise, ID (2,739')

At 3:00 AM this morning I awoke and, unable to go back to sleep, I decided to drag this sack of bones out of bed, have an early breakfast and prepare for our ride in a relaxed manner. You know, southern style. So I dillied and dallied for a couple of hours and finally stuck my head out the door. Cool and windy- but since I was unsure of the direction of the wind, I drew no conclusions about our ride today- other than I'd be wearing arm and leg warmers. The morning broke in the mid 40's and only climbed into the mid 70's by afternoon. After being out in it for a few minutes, I decided that a jacket was also in order. The ride today was a mere 62 miles with only 1,500 vertical- child's play for us.

After we loaded luggage, a dandy group began to form in the parking lot- The Miller Train, Uncle Bob, The Three D's (Jen, Brett and Russell), Joel and Allison and assorted others and we immediately formed a pace line and then just as quickly shut it down for the obligatory state line crossing photo- i.e., "Welcome to Idaho".


It's amazing to think that it has taken this kind of time and effort to ride across one state. But Oregon has been a beautiful companion-a really magical place that's been on its best behavior during our entire stay. I believe that the ride stats so far are around 550 miles ridden and about 24,000 vertical feet climbed and every bit of that's been on Oregon soil.

So after a quick start and stop, the Miller Train regrouped, someone called "All Aboard" and the twin teen diesels slowly pulled a pace line with 15-20 riders up our first short hill as we began our initial probe into Idaho. The morning remained cool with brilliant sunshine and little wind of any consequence. We ripped along nice, flat two lane country roads, occasionally picking up a rider and maintaining a comfortable pace through a primarily agricultural area that became suburban, then finally became the "artsy-fartsy" area that Mike Munk promised us. No one was in the mood to break anyone's legs today as we were all eager to get to Boise and start our day and a half off. Still, spirits were high and the group spent the next hour and a half spinning our big rings, making up songs, laughing and, at times, just being silly.

Somewhere after our sag stop, I suggested that we start a double, rotating pace line and Mike Miller was happy to oversee the effort. Soon enough he had us charging down the road in a reasonably well disciplined group. Granted there were a few that would not/could not ride off the wheel in front of them, but for the most part everyone got it and I thought it was really fun.

The ride today was generally flat, with maybe 2,000 feet gained- an effort that most people thought was like a day off. I don't think I broke a sweat the whole morning. The one bit of excitement was when Derek's front tire began to delaminate (isn't that what they call sheep giving birth??) and the group stopped to generally mill around and pretend to help. Shortly thereafter we reformed and motored into our hotel- a very nice Courtyard by Marriott.

I was thinking about how to spend a day off and concluded that I may get a massage, but probably will spend most of the time doing absolutely nothing- and I'm darn good at that- just you watch.

Today's ride brings our total miles ridden to 614 and our vertical feet climbed to nearly 26,000. I am noticing a deep fatigue setting in and decide to call for "lights out" at 7:00 PM. Twelve hours sleep sounds about right and then I'll make a call on what tomorrow will look like. ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz...........